I know, I know. I’m the absolute worst at staying up to date on blogging. Life has just been super-duper ridiculous since Mardi Gras ended. Like, I hadn’t even updated my goals binder in March. Here’s what’s been happening:
I quit my job. And got a new one as a Buyer’s Assistant for a local chain of boutiques. With better hours, a better dress code (I can literally wear whatever I want, as long as I put some effort into it), and I can walk to work. While it’s taking time to adjust to the fact that I’m home every night before 6:00, I think I’m going to love it. Gone are my excuses to not hang out in the early evenings.
I failed at Whole 30 once again. But I did stick pretty close to paleo. What did I learn? 1) I need it to be ok to drink once in a while (but I must avoid whiskey at all costs). 2) Dairy makes me break out in the worst ways. I love cheese though, so this is a perfect reason to only eat the really good stuff. 3) I use food as a reward. Even though every health Pinterest board says not to. Food is my way to power through the week and not murder anyone. So please, let’s all reward me.
April is Scotti’s birthday month. My best friend in the whole wide world is going to be 5. I’m planning a celebration and harassing my family with what they plan on gifting him with.
It’s festival season in New Orleans. Hooray. Food, music, piles of people and an excellent setting for a second Tinder date.
Speaking of Tinder dates, I let my younger brother manage mine during Lent. Thinking he’d have my best interests at heart. I was wrong. He literally swiped right 15 times and then left 15 times. No thought or care into what he’d like in a future brother in law. (even though I’ve been told Tinder is only for finding girls who a guy thinks he can stick it in. whatever.) Needless to say, I took back the reins once Lent was almost over. Still not too impressed though.
I am super in love with BumbleBff though. If it’s this hard for boys on Tinder to ask girls to hang out, I totally get the struggle now. I’ve only had one wine date (what do you call get-togethers with possible besties?) and it was so much fun. Note to self, send a quick “sorry I disappeared text”.
That’s all for now. Fingers crossed I get back in the habit of updating this again. Because you and I both know you want to know what’s uo.
So, we’re not even halfway through Lent and I am bulldozing this “No Tinder” thing. Sorry about the dirt in your face, I was busy getting it off my shoulders.
I’ve realized something major over the past few weeks. Something I had a general idea of since summertime, but that’s taken me time to come around to. Like holy moly, Meredith, way to take forever to get your shit together.
I have no need or desire for a permanent boy at the moment. I want a person to hang out with who isn’t my mom. I want to be able to get out of Eldora for a night, dress up, eat dinner and giggle. And yeah, I want to makeout, because good good, making out is my favorite, but I can survive without it.
Am I going to reactivate Tinder on Easter? Most likely. But am I going to be driving a few hours to hangout with boys who are clearly overwhelmed by a chubby, confident girl and freakout when she makes a move? No way jose. I’ve got a pile of things to work on over the next six months and texting time could totally be spent doing important things. Like resume writing, sorting through my my closet and working out.
Are revelations like this part of growing up? Why are they take so long to finally realize?
I spent last Thursday night with the last boy I had been texting with before I deleted Tinder for Lent.
Now, this boy, I had a lot of hopes for. He is super adorable. A bit out of my comfort zone, as he is a single dad. And he got me to talk on the phone, multiple times, for anything between 10 minutes-90 minutes. Ask my mom, and you know how much of a struggle that is.
The date: dinner and a concert. The band was one I had never heard of. Blackberry Smoke, but their sound was interesting enough (and the boy cute enough) that of course I said yes.
Dinner first started out at a place in the East Village of Des Moines called Quinton’s. But we didn’t eat there. After sitting at a table for 30 minutes with zero attention from a waitress, we decided to try our hand at another spot. And do you know how hard it is to find a place to eat at 7pm on a Thursday? Way harder than I thought. So we went to a mexican place, and things were going great.
cause goddamnit, I am charming. and adorable.
And then the boy barfed. Right into the tortilla chip basket. Gross. End of evening.
Now, he swore that he had been feeling sick all day, and he did look a little yucky, but still.
Will we see each other again? Were there follow-up texts? I HAVE NO IDEA. Because my phone charger broke and my precious baby is dead until a new one gets here this afternoon.
So at the moment we’ll wait. Wait and see if there’s going to be a round two with any of these boys, or if March will be spent with me, myself and I.
Date Number One: The original plan was for us to meet at a bowling alley, get a game in and then go to dinner. Except the bowling alley was hosting a fundraiser and lanes wouldn’t be open for two hours. So we skipped straight to dinner.
You guys, this boy was so nervous/terrified that I wanted to buy him a pile of shots and take him to a strip club so he could realize that cleavage wouldn’t actually smother him.
Date Number Two: this one happened on a whim. I told the boy that I’d be passing back through his town after date #1 and said if he wanted to hang out to let me know. Of course he said yes. How could he not?
With all the awkward staring that went down at date #1, this one was a relief. We met at a sketchy bar, drank some beers, and he tried to teach me pool. Pool is really hard and I don’t feel a need to ever play again.
Both dates ended without any action, which I was fine with. If date #2 texted for a second date this weekend, I would totally say yes.
Would I do two dates in one night again? Maybe. But only if they came to Eldora or if I had a hotel room in the town so I could go back and crash.
As for my break from the Tinder app? I am feeling so free from my phone. And just knowing that it’s waiting for me next month, and that I won’t have to go through the 5 minute hassle of setting up a new profile, has me feeling extra good.
So Tinder has this feature called ‘Moments’. It’s a picture that can be viewed for 24 hours by whoever you match with, and they can choose to Like or Dislike the photo. (You only get notified of likes though, thank god for the ego)
I AM A MOMENT MASTER. Seriously.
It’s a great way to show a little bit more about your life and personality to matches. And an equally great way to weed out the creeps.
Cause seriously dudes, why in the world would you send a dick pic to a pile of girls you don’t know. 1) not attractive. 2) if I really wanted to see your penis, your pants would have already been removed.
Anyways, here’s some of my recent moments. I just noticed that the main themes are dogs, boobs and food. Which works, because that’s pretty much my life.
I know I said a few weeks ago that I was back on Tinder. I’ve gone on a couple of dates, which all end with me coming home very confused. On one things seemed to go great, and his dog was adorable, but ghosted. One was okay, but we ran out of things to talk about. And Saturday’s was absolutely horrible.
And by horrible I mean he wore wind pants and smelled like stale weed and it was obvious that all of his photos were throwbacks. Like seriously. Whatever.
Laying in bed on Sunday, with my dogs and Friends, some things popped in my head.
I really need to make one of those silly lists about what I’m looking for in a boy/relationship. This might be nice to do with a bottle of wine and some streaming rom-coms.
I need to keep holding off on sex. Date #2 was clearly annoyed by the fact I wasn’t going to go home with him. Clearly I need to be the girl that changes this expectation.
If I get the feeling that things just won’t work, I need to speak up and cancel plans. I think you can get a decent idea over text and Facebook stalking if things aren’t going to work out, and I need to accept that it’s ok to cancel plans (with 24 hours notice) and spend the night in bed.
Date prep is way more easy in spring or summer. All you have to do is throw on a sundress with cute shoes and carry a cardigan.
I need to post more photos to Facebook so I can keep interchanging photos on Tinder.
Well you guys, after a whole mess of “what the fuck am I even doing here” Tinder dates, I bit the bullet and just deleted. Out of 200+ matches, 39 exchanged numbers and 17 dates (only 2 which I would label a success, and both were with the same person*) I’m done.
When I was driving back from a Tinder evening on Saturday, I thought it went pretty good but the boy has yet to respond to my text and snap #hisloss, I started counting the hours up in my head. per date, here’s a bit of a breakdown of the time I lost:
getting ready (includes showering, nail painting and straightening my hair):2 hours
travel (not including the 9 hours of travel to get to Minneapolis) 90 minutes
actual date: averages out to 2 hours
Total time: About 93.5 hours.
This doesn’t include the time I spent obsessing over what to wear, because I could do other things at the same time.
93.5 hours that I gave to boys who, when it comes down to it, were not worth it at all. Who even after I sat there for multiple hours, wouldn’t make a move or would get freaked out if I did. Hours that I could have been doing productive things. like working out. Or sleeping.
I had told myself that if I didn’t meet anyone worth my time by New Year’s Eve that I’d just cut Tinder off. But if you saw my desk calendar for the next 2 weeks, you’d see that I don’t have time to waste.
When it comes down to it though, I plan on being out of Eldora and Iowa by next fall (we’ll totally cover this soon, I swear) so why should I even be trying to find someone that might make me question my desire to leave? Sure, I wish I had someone to make out with. To be in bed with a body that wasn’t covered in fur. To have a human in my daily life to talk to that isn’t my mom. And good god, I am a much more personable human being when I’m getting laid on the reg. But I’ll learn to freakin deal.
Cause that’s what big girls do.
*scheduling got in the way of this one going anywhere. When each person basically only has one night free a week, and the nights never match up, things fizzle.