on crowdfunding and village building

Edit: I got bored with this whole crowdfunding idea pretty quickly.  But feel free to Venmo me (MeredithHope) or PayPal me (meredith.hope@rocketmail.com).  Cause I’m still (f)unmployed, phoneless and trying to figure out wtf is my life.


y’all money is getting tighter and tighter as my belly gets bigger and bigger.  Last week was the first time I’ve ever had someone stare at my stomach instead of my boobs.  My boobs we kind of sad, especially since they’re looking phenomenal at the moment.

But back to the topic at hand.

I fully believe in crowdfunding, and people giving real help when it is needed.  Sure, prayers are great.  But prayers don’t keep people in their homes, or food in their bellies.  I grew up with a sick parent.  I can’t tell you the names of anyone who prayed for my family, but I can tell you the names of the man who paid off the balance of my freshman year of college, the women who brought meals to my mom and brothers, the people who made sure my car had gas so my brothers and I could visit my dad when possible.  Sure the prayers were great, and it felt awesome to know so many people were sending positive vibes to my family, but my brother’s childhood Sunday School teacher who realized the three of us could live on apples, pizza rolls, mac & cheese cereal and milk, and made sure that we had a good supply at all times when my mom was in the hospital during 8th grade? She’s the real champ.

There’s a lot of pros and cons for crowdfunding.  How do you know the money is going to what the person claims? Why should we help a middle school band go to a museum 16 hours away? I feel like there was a lady a few years back who set up a GoFundMe so she could go to Vegas and some big boxing match with her friends.  And if you’re ever bored and looking for a way to spread some kindness and break up $100, I fully recommend that you hit up GFM and spread some love around.

Right now, I’m working on 2 things.  1) figuring out a money/job plan so I can be the best baby mama/Scotti mom I can be.  2) letting more people into my life and it’s goings-on.  I am definitely a runaway when I get stressed about my life, and that tends to scare a lot of the people that I love.  So this is me doing both.

1) I set up a GoFundMe page in the haze of sleepiness.  Do I feel like I’m losing control by asking strangers for help? Yes.  But I’ve felt like my life has been spinning out of control for the past 8 weeks, so this can either speed it up until I barf, or slow it down.  I love the idea of getting to spend the next 3.5 months focusing on preparing myself mentally, emotionally and physically for this baby.  I fully intend to keep applying for jobs, and forcing myself to start hitting up networking events, but also creating a home for my little family.

Do you know how you baby proof an apartment with concrete floors? Lots of rugs.

And not only do I want that 2 months of baby time once this guy emerges, but I also know how badly I need it.  When I had Captain B., (the baby boy who was adopted 5 years ago), I spiraled into a postpartum depression that took me 18 months and my dogs to claw out off.  So with the idea that I would need to go back to work ASAP to keep making money for me and baby, that terrifies me and my spirit.

For a reason I can’t comprehend, our country still doesn’t treasure babies the way we claim, or recognize the fact that people need time to bond and to heal within their new families (however those families are created).  I think we’re working on being better at this, but we’ll see.

2) Letting people in.  While I’m working up to posting the GFM link to Facebook, it’s pretty major for me to tell people that have a general idea of me that I need help.  But I also believe that you don’t have a right to the good parts of someone’s life if you’re not willing to even acknowledge the hard parts.  So this is me, telling the world that I’m going through a really hard part and that I need help.

Here’s that link one more time, in case you missed it:


And here’s a picture of Scotti, baby boobs, and I looking adorable:


Thanks for reading and praying/good vibe sending/ and any help you might be able to send.


postive thoughts go here

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