You guys, I just got dumped over a text message. This boy, a boy that I gave six months to, that I finally started trusting, decided that a text message was a good way to end things. HEY GENERATION, THIS IS WHY OLDER PEOPLE HATE US. Cause this is the bullshit we pull.
As some as you know, I’ve always had some issues when it came to trusting males (casual sex aside). Part of it is dear to severe daddy issues. Watch your dad go from treating your mom like crap to treating her like a queen for 19 years and you’d be a little messed up to.
Add in all the bullshit I had to deal with with Fratboybabydaddy when I was pregnant, and that I still occasionally deal with now, and things just are not easy when it comes to Meredith and males.
Then throw in that all of the other boys I’ve dealt with since I made it back home have made it clear that they were more interested in what my mouth could do then what it could say. sigh
This boy, made me start to believe that I was worthy. And I know that girls aren’t supposed to get their idea of worth from boys, but whatever, some of it comes from them. For the first time in almost four years I finally had a person. And now, with one iMessage they’re gone.
So here I am. Sobbing before work, wondering if there’s truly anything about me that a human could love. Wondering why I clearly meant so little to this person that they ended things in an iMessage, even though they recognized that “feel like a dick”. GUESS WHAT YOU ARE A DICK, JORDAN. And I wish that we had made things facebook official, so that everyone knows that you’re a dick.
And I hope the girl you have a date with on Friday, which has me wondering how long you were talking, and why they fuck you ever thought it was okay to talk to one girl when you’re already.
And you better delete all of those naked pictures I sent you.
I hope you read this and feel bad, cause there’s absolutely no way I’m going to your house on Friday to discuss things. There’s no way in hell I’m giving you the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
But maybe I should. So that seeing me could maybe make your date the most miserable experience of your life. Because your night should totally be ruined when you just made a girl cry.
So now I’m confused. And I want to drink wine and dance to Taylor Swift.
Which really isn’t different from any other day, except this time it’ll be the songs she sings about how much she doesn’t like boys.