Last week I had to deal with two crying 7 year old girls. other people crying makes me super anxious. Why were they crying? One had just told the other she needed to eat a burger because she was skinny, and the response was that she had fat thighs.
What did I do? I told them that they’re bodies were perfect for them and as long as they could climb the monkey bars at recess and chase their brothers and throw a ball that their bodies were doing just fine.
I spend a lot of time on Instagram, and I always read the comments that people post on photos of females. They’re too skinny, too fat, it’s finally nice to see a real woman, go eat a cheeseburger, you did not eat that. All bullshit.
Just stop. And before you say it’s the media’s fault, that Barbie brought it on, stop. I started glancing at Cosmopolitan when I was 8 years old in the library. I started sneaking it home in folders when I was 10. Yes, they always have an article about how to lose ten pounds or banish jiggle, but that’s not what I ever focused on. I remember reading the articles and answer columns that said the truth. Once the lights go off and skin touches skin, a boy probably doesn’t care if you need to lose/gain 20 pounds. And if he does, and actually says that out loud? Ditch him, asap.
I’ve never been a little girl. And at 27, I’m finally starting to embrace it. Sure, things get dicey when TinderBoy comments on how hot Taylor Swift is. Yes, I tell myself all the time that I’m finally going to start working really hard towards getting guns and not having my belly stick out over my waistband.
I can remember every single time someone told me I was fat or needed to lose weight.
- there was my dad when I was 7 and wearing my favorite horse shirt.
- the man that I was texting from LA who when I finally visited, told me that I needed to lose 20 pounds to fit his personal brand.
- The Ford Models rep who told me when I was 14 that I could totally get signed when I lost 40 pounds and fixed my teeth. (my teeth totally needed fixed, btw. thank god for braces and head gear)
- I know that every other day when I get dressed, my mom has a comment of something I need to change.
- and I can probably list all of the things my mom has said are wrong with her body last week, but I’m positive she never said anything good about it.
You know what things I don’t remember? I cannot tell you on time in 19 years that my dad ever told me I was pretty. Or that I was smart.
Why can’t we stop searching for negatives with females and immediately spot all of the positives? Why do we get a high off of being mean?
My rule is that I will never comment negatively on another female’s body when I’m in the presence of anyone under the age of 16. I’m trying to make that rule expand to making the comment in front of anyone ever. Which takes a lot of work, because it’s so easy to get caught up on tearing someone down when they’re not around.
But then things get dicey when those things are said in front of children and they think it’s okay to say too. So let’s all to say positive things about girls (and boys). And encourage them to say them too.
yes, I’m working on getting healthier. On Sunday I did the math and realized my monthly costs for junk food and soda would easily pay for my month at the gym. I love the exhausted sense of accomplishment that I feel after a really good workout. If I have time to binge watch Netflix, then I have time to bust out a 20 minute workout video on Youtube.