After another month of spending time together with Tinderboy, it was becoming obvious that feelings were starting to grow. Even my mom can tell that I like him. There was a quick make out session while my mom and family were renting a car at Enterprise to go to Ohio. A quick work night sleepover that left me feeling extra exhausted but totally pleased.
and in a 12 year old crush mode, not anything naughty.
since things were growing, I decided it was time to fake a little bravery and tell him some things about my future and past. The past: that I’m involved in an extremely open adoption with the family who adopted the boy who hit the genetic bullseye when I birthed him 3 years ago. The future: that I’m about to become a surrogate for the same family.
It was hard to work up the being brave thing. “holy shit” got repeated a lot. But with how much I like this boy, I truly believed he needed to know. Just like I need to know where he stands, if only to prevent my heart from being extra broken in the future. While I have no idea what may come of this whole telling the truth thing, I’m so proud of myself for saying the things out loud that needed to be said.
I honestly have no idea how things will proceed. There’s been a few text messages back and forth, but we shall see if there’s another playdate over the weekend.
When it comes to boys, I believe that if they want any of me, they have to take all of me. Deciding to be a surrogate is a big thing, a thing that I knew might make it hard to date, but that’s okay. I’m excited for this adventure, and all the maternity clothes that come with it.
And as for the dating while trying to get pregnant/being pregnant; if Jennifer Lopez could do it in The Backup Plan, I can totally do it too. Although I don’t plan on perusing anyone else for awhile. I have far too many things going on. Plus I should probably be resting more.