This week I was putting together the pile of documents for the family to send off for taxes. Imagine my surprise when I saw that my baby brother made more money then I did in 2013. I know we’re not supposed to say these things out loud but,
THIS IS A COMPETITION. Sibling rivalry is totally real and anyone who says other wise is losing that competition and doesn’t want you to know.
And this is coming from the sibling that is currently losing. As of May, I’ll also be the only one with out a college degree, and if my sister-in-law counts (which she does) than I don’t even have the best boobs.
This is the worst.
And while I was making a list of the things that I am totally winning at when it comes to this challenge (I totally have the most magazine subscriptions), (and I started the goldendoodle trend in Eldora), this thought popped into my head; why do I see the different paths I take as faults?
I do have an idea of the things that might make it seem, to both myself and others that I’m losing. Things that Judd Aptow could make an amazing, lovable loser flick about. Yes, I live in my mom’s basement. Yes, I make so little money that I’m pretty sure the healthcare.gov website laughed at me. Yes, I dropped out of college…twice. And I’m 26 and have never had an actual boyfriend. My brother Isaac has had both a girlfriend and a boyfriend.
I’m currently considering a quarter-life crisis, but I’m clearly going to need my brothers to fund it.
So Patric, Isaac…and Paige….I’ll give you these few rounds. But you can never take away the fact that I have the most magazine subscriptions. Actually, you can. But don’t.