I don’t even know what to put here.

I spent the day trying to think about what to post.  What silly thing I wanted to share.  What part of my life I felt comfortable putting on the internet.  Then I cried a lot.  Cried so hard that I threw up.

And came to the realization that I am fucking exhausted.  There are things going on in my world that I can’t share, things that I have no one to discuss with.  There’s pressure to be on in every single thing.  To be focusing on my body, to put everything I have into my jobs, to rope down a boy (even though I don’t really want one), to be the best daughter and sister I can be.  To wash my hair every day and look put together.  To stop drinking so much caffeine and take less naps.  All these things are like rocks in my pockets and I’m drowning.

So I’m going to take a few weeks off.  Think about what I really want to be blogging about.  Read more, because it’s the one thing that takes me out of my own head.  Clean out my closet and dance to Taylor Swift. Make lists and send letters.  Maybe there will be scattered updates here are there.  Maybe I’ll think to post something on Twitter, to update Instagram (because in the end, that’s my favorite).

{finally went to the library, finally hopped on the Gone Girl train}

{finally went to the library, finally hopped on the Gone Girl train}

So if you’re feeling bored and want someone to talk to, feel free to email me (everydaymeremaid@gmail.com).  Otherwise send every extra positive vibe that you have my way.  I’m off to fight some dragons.

{operation:grownup} 30s stuff…even though I’m not 30.

I’ll admit, I always read those articles that are basically lists of everything you should/n’t own or wear when you hit your thirties.  And then I read the comments.  Because holy moly, do so people get pissed about fairly silly articles that tell them what they can’t do.

Like omg ladies, if you have the confidence to pull off a short skirt or tank top at any age, go for it.

But honestly,  I love the articles.  As I’m packing and shopping and daydreaming, it’s nice to have a reminder about what I might be a touch too old for.  Maybe it’s time to turn all of my tshirts from high school and college into one bombass quilt for cozying up in front of Netflix. And do I really need to be rocking a graphic tee, cutoffs and converse?  Probably not.  Because I’m trying to be a grownup.  Am I still going to keep taking and using souvenir cups (because I drop things and Scotti and Diego steal….safety first) hell yes.

How to Dress for Every Age, According to J. Crew-Whatever. I love JCrew, which is ridiculous since I can’t really afford anything from there.  I have Jenna Lyons all over my inspiration board in my room.  Creative prep seems like an A+ way to dress for big girl world.

Over 30? 9 Items You Shouldn’t Have in Your Home-Like I said before, I’m still keeping those novelty cups.  Sure, I’ll have the nice ones for company, but solo wine drinking calls for plastic cups.

Dear Fashion Editors, Stop Telling Me What I can’t Wear in my 30s-this essay definitely hits just how silly these articles are, how boring they are, and just why she’s refusing to listen.  Love it.

Also, as my 28th birthday gets closer (May 14, write it down!), I’m getting more and more nervous about this whole growing up thing.  Overall, I’m no where near where I imagined myself to be.  Yes, I love my life and all that jazz, and I’m constantly reminding myself that this is part of my story.

“thirty, flirty and thriving” and all that good stuff.

{humpday happiness}

first off, let me say how hard it is to eat clean when you go to the store starving.  Damn Pringles have me all like…..blegh.  Don’t worry though.  All the Pringles are gone now.  #thankgod

Once again, Dove has made a video/commercial (do these ever actually air on TV?) that makes a girl think.  I try really hard to stay body positive when talking out loud and on the internet, and this is a reminder about why I should stay positive in my head too.  {Fast Company}

{Huffington Post}

{via Huffington Post}

Ever since high school, I’ve been in awe of Frida Kahlo.  There’s something so haunting about her work.  This article gave me an even bigger glimpse into her world.  She went through a lot of shit at 25, and had to do it really far from home.  {Huffington Post}

Other things I’ve loved?  This article from goodmenproject.com.

This swimsuit from Frankie’s Bikinis. Hello reason to stay away from Pringles.  

Anyways, I’m off to go get through the rest of my to-do list.  Being productive feels so good, but is also super exhausting.

{tinder tuesday}

there’s really not much to say here today, simply because there are no tinder boys to talk about. I suppose I could point you in the direction of my favorite men from Twitter, the ones who don’t know how quickly they brighten my spirits, but I don’t feel like sharing them today.
here’s some of the things that I keep repeating in my head. stolen from the Internet, of course.

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{via pinterest}

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{via pinterest}

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{via pinterest}

spring break intentions/what appears to be rambling

This weekend was an wonderful start to spring break. I went to Cedar falls, ate a whole lot of pizza at Tony’s, drank a fair amount of Angry Orchard, all while I got to work on lists and notes in the sunshine.
Note to self, find a way to make this kind of afternoon happen more.

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This Target shirt dress is my new obsession.

This week I’m off from the job that takes up the most of my hours, so I have a plan in place to be extra productive.

1. Two-a-day workouts.
And get my diet even more cleaned up. (which means cleaning out the kitchen) I always tell myself that I’ll get around to this stuff when my schedule calms down, and that focusing for a week and getting in the groove will help me nail down the healthy habits. Well, that week is here. Eating paleo 80% of the time has been going swimmingly, but I definitely need to kick things up a notch. We’ll see if I actually force myself out of bed at 6am for the first workout.
2. Get that resume outlined.
This is one of my goals for the month. Might as well hash out the simple stuff now and pour through Pinterest next.
3. Read!
It’s been forever since I’ve just sat and read a book. I need to hit up the library and get back to a life that isn’t completely filled with tv.

Do I wish I was spending this week on a beach?  Yes.  Am I dreading a week of productivity on my schedule?  No

{humpday happiness}

Next week is Spring Break around these parts.  I made the final decision to stay home and work through the week, cause right now money > relaxation.  I’m still daydreaming about an extra long weekend getaway.  Just me, a bikini and a pile of books.  I discovered all of these spots on AirBnB.  I’m getting bitten by all the travel bugs.

Let’s see.  I could lay out on top of the boat; just me, my books and a pitcher of margaritas.  Go eat fish tacos.  And then be rocked to sleep by the sea.  Yes, please.

My family and I did a family vacation to Galveston a few Christmases ago.  It was cold and I’ve been interested in seeing Galveston in the heat ever since.  I’m trying to convince my family that we need to just choose a location/week to have a standing get-together.  I’ll let you know as soon as they realize I’m a genius.

Grand Isle has this perfect mix of woods and water.  And there’s dolphins swimming around.  How can you not want to watch dolphins?

Seriously, go take a peek at this place.  And imagine the adorable Instagram pics that would be taken.  I’m thinking lime rickies, late night swims and an out of character Lilly Pulitzer dress.

{tinder tuesday} going without

So, we’re not even halfway through Lent and I am bulldozing this “No Tinder” thing.  Sorry about the dirt in your face, I was busy getting it off my shoulders.

I’ve realized something major over the past few weeks.  Something I had a general idea of since summertime, but that’s taken me time to come around to.  Like holy moly, Meredith, way to take forever to get your shit together.

I have no need or desire for a permanent boy at the moment.  I want a person to hang out with who isn’t my mom.  I want to be able to get out of Eldora for a night, dress up, eat dinner and giggle.  And yeah, I want to makeout, because good good, making out is my favorite, but I can survive without it.

Am I going to reactivate Tinder on Easter?  Most likely.  But am I going to be driving a few hours to hangout with boys who are clearly overwhelmed by a chubby, confident girl and freakout when she makes a move? No way jose.  I’ve got a pile of things to work on over the next six months and texting time could totally be spent doing important things.  Like resume writing, sorting through my my closet and working out.

Are revelations like this part of growing up?  Why are they take so long to finally realize?