slowly getting back in the groove

I haven’t had a week of honest-to god workouts since February.  Working full-time left me utterly exhausted; mentally, emotionally and physically.  Most days Scotti and Diego would be lucky if I could gather the energy to take them on a walk.

Healthy eating all but disappeared.  I packed on 20 pounds since January, because calling in pizza and stopping to pick up a bag of gummy worms was just easier.  I kept trying to get into Whole30 again, but when there’s no time to grocery shop, it’s all but impossible.

Now I’m back to working part-time.  It’s a mess for my checking account, but it’s been great for my soul.  I feel like I finally have time to collect my thoughts.  Scotti, Diego and I only missed walks when I was in New Orleans.  I’ve only had pizza twice since school started, and both times I made it.

And today I finally unrolled my yoga mat and did this 20 minute yoga flow.

Yes, working full-time is great for the money and filling the day.  But I know that I cannot handle it for such a long stretch.  Yes, I’m going to be a little more stressed out about paying bills and really have to get used to not shopping.  Now I have time to invest in myself.

and that’s pretty great

 

let’s just go ahead and talk about why you should stop talking about other girls/your body all critical like

Last week I had to deal with two crying 7 year old girls.  other people crying makes me super anxious.  Why were they crying?  One had just told the other she needed to eat a burger because she was skinny, and the response was that she had fat thighs.

What did I do?  I told them that they’re bodies were perfect for them and as long as they could climb the monkey bars at recess and chase their brothers and throw a ball that their bodies were doing just fine.

I spend a lot of time on Instagram, and I always read the comments that people post on photos of females.  They’re too skinny, too fat, it’s finally nice to see a real woman, go eat a cheeseburger, you did not eat that.  All bullshit.

Just stop.  And before you say it’s the media’s fault, that Barbie brought it on, stop.  I started glancing at Cosmopolitan when I was 8 years old in the library.  I started sneaking it home in folders when I was 10.  Yes, they always have an article about how to lose ten pounds or banish jiggle, but that’s not what I ever focused on.  I remember reading the articles and answer columns that said the truth.  Once the lights go off and skin touches skin, a boy probably doesn’t care if you need to lose/gain 20 pounds.  And if he does, and actually says that out loud?  Ditch him, asap.

I’ve never been a little girl.  And at 27, I’m finally starting to embrace it.  Sure, things get dicey when TinderBoy comments on how hot Taylor Swift is.  Yes, I tell myself all the time that I’m finally going to start working really hard towards getting guns and not having my belly stick out over my waistband.

I can remember every single time someone told me I was fat or needed to lose weight.

  • there was my dad when I was 7 and wearing my favorite horse shirt.
  • the man that I was texting from LA who when I finally visited, told me that I needed to lose 20 pounds to fit his personal brand.
  • The Ford Models rep who told me when I was 14 that I could totally get signed when I lost 40 pounds and fixed my teeth.  (my teeth totally needed fixed, btw.  thank god for braces and head gear)
  • I know that every other day when I get dressed, my mom has a comment of something I need to change.
  • and I can probably list all of the things my mom has said are wrong with her body last week, but I’m positive she never said anything good about it.

You know what things I don’t remember?  I cannot tell you on time in 19 years that my dad ever told me I was pretty.  Or that I was smart.

Why can’t we stop searching for negatives with females and immediately spot all of the positives?  Why do we get a high off of being mean?

My rule is that I will never comment negatively on another female’s body when I’m in the presence of anyone under the age of 16.  I’m trying to make that rule expand to making the comment in front of anyone ever.  Which takes a lot of work, because it’s so easy to get caught up on tearing someone down when they’re not around.

But then things get dicey when those things are said in front of children and they think it’s okay to say too.  So let’s all to say positive things about girls (and boys).  And encourage them to say them too.

yes, I’m working on getting healthier.  On Sunday I did the math and realized my monthly costs for junk food and soda would easily pay for my month at the gym.  I love the exhausted sense of accomplishment that I feel after a really good workout.  If I have time to binge watch Netflix, then I have time to bust out a 20 minute workout video on Youtube.

rant over.

friday fashion wants

Oye.  I spent the afternoon running some errands that just couldn’t wait.  I knew I had the errands to run last night, so I could have finished up this post.  But instead I binge watched Extreme Weight Loss on Hulu.  So here we go…

I decided to do a bit of a roundup of a few of the clothing pieces and outfits that I’m currently obsessing over.

I’ve wanted to buy this cape from American Apparel for three years now.  Three years.  I’m always too afraid to take the plunge, but I’m thinking this could be the year I finally do.  Fun and (hopefully) functional?  yes please.

Ever since I saw A Bikini A Day post this one piece, I’ve been obsessing.  How about a beach vacation to shop for and inspire loads of workouts?  Or I’ll just put this picture on my fridge so that I don’t eat any of the buttercream frosting that’s on the top shelf.  #fitspo

Seriously.  I adore GOldfish Kiss.  And this super simple ensemble?  I would wear those shorts every day and that jersey to every outing where I’m supposed to care about a football game just as much as I care about the snacks.  If anyone knows where to find it in a large or extra large, lemme know.

If I were to go on Safari, I’d wear this.  If I was just going to the grocery store, I’d wear the skirt.  Bel and Beau has an amazing maxi party skirt, btw.  In case you’re like me and kind of already day dreaming about what you’ll wear during the winter holiday season.

Speaking of skirts, any time I wear a skirt that hits above my knees, I wear a pair of shorts underneath.  I feel like these Free People tap shorts would be a great step up.

With all the time I spend thinking about clothes, you’d think I’d own way more.

the great clothing situation

For the past 6 months, at the end of every month, I would tell myself that I need to sort through all of my clothes.  For one month this summer, I had the same 3 pairs of shorts and 2 shirts on a daily rotation, simply because I was too lazy to actually go into my room for fresh clothes and would just pull whatever two items were clean out of my laundry basket.

But yesterday afternoon, after looking at the weather forecast that was getting chillier, I realized I had no idea if I owned any pants or leggings at all.  I HAD NO CHOICE.

So I grabbed a few sterlite containers ( I ended up needing 5) and piled all of my clothes inside.  Carrying them upstairs to the living room was quite a workout.

Processed with VSCOcam with m5 presetSo I sorted.  And sorted.  I threw items that had no hope of surviving life with another human away.  I ended up with one container ready to be donated. I wrote down outfit ideas based on what I already owned and made a list of everything that I really need to buy.

Because guess what, I was right.  There were absolutely no pants.  High waisted black skinnies are an absolute must.

Looking at what I own, and comparing it to what I have on my pinboards, I’ve got a much better idea of what my style is becoming.  Looking at my daily schedule, I know where my money and shopping habits should be focused: ballet flats, appropriate work wear, and good workout clothes.

But I’m totally keeping all my sequined wear and furry vests.  I just need to make more of a point to wear them.

Is this really what growing up into a grownup entails?

And does anyone actually own EVERYTHING on the checklist below, besides the top-notch fashion bloggers and editors?

{humpday happiness} where to begin

Honestly, life has been pretty great lately.  So great that I’m nervous to say anything, because what if I jinx it.

I’ve been feeling this perfect calmness.  One that has me not super stressing about anything in particular.

Getting cold and I have no pants? (Diego ate out all the crotches of my jeans, pants and leggings over the spring and summer) Whatever. I’ll buy a couple pairs when I get paid in two weeks.

Figuring out when it’ll work to go see TinderBoy?  Eh.  When we started hanging out I didn’t have a license, there’s no way anyone could expect me to already have my own car.  (although if someone wanted to give me one, I’d be cool with that.)

I don’t know if it’s the crispy air that comes in once the air temperature drops 20 degrees, but everything seems pretty perfect.  Sure there’s a pile of things that I know I could stress about.  But part of my problem is I stress about things that don’t even concern me.  Things that clearly aren’t stressing out the people they do concern.  Even though they probably should.

I have absolutely no idea what’s going on, but I absolutely adore it.

{adventures} last day in NOLA

Honestly, thinking about my last day in New Orleans already has me aching to go on another adventure.  Since my trip left my broke self even broker, I’ll be sticking around Eldora for a while and living vicariously through other people’s travel adventures.

Let’s get started on what happened my final day in the Big Easy.

{World War II museum from the Ogden}

{World War II museum from the Ogden}

Once again, it was a rainy day.  I seriously should have packed (bought) some rain boots and not stuffed so many maxi dresses in my carry-on.  These Hunter rainboots and my trusty cut-offs could have meant I was traipsing through the city, regardless of the weather.  #nexttime

Once again I decided to head to a museum.  After a creepy run in with a man who didn’t seem to understand that no means no, I was happy to be alone in a crowd and dry at the World War II museum. 

When I went to school in New Orleans, I always meant to find a day to go, but never did.  That meant that everything I saw was new, amazing and humbling.  Seriously, these men (and women) left their homes to fight and knew that the chances of any communication with their loved ones back home was pretty close to impossible.  While I have mad respect for people who choose to serve in the military now, there’s something about those boys from way back that just pull on me.

photos of Japanese Americans who were put into internment camps

photos of Japanese Americans who were put into internment camps

While I had grown up knowing a little about these camps for Japanese-Americans, I really didn’t have a whole lot of knowledge about what occurred at these sites.  It’s definitely a sad thing to realize that generations long ago had such little respect and so much intense fear of their other countrymen.  It makes one, well me, want to do better when it comes to showing respect and standing up for my fellow American humans, regardless of what makes them different.

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After a few hours of reading all the stories and seeing all the artifacts, I decided it was time to head out to the city.  And honestly, I was just really overwhelmed by everything. So I made the trip to the French Quarter…on foot. blisters be damned.

The Mighty Mississippi

The Mighty Mississippi

Holocaust Memorial

Holocaust Memorial

Cafe Du Monde

Cafe Du Monde

After walking along the river, my first stop was Cafe Du Monde.  1. I was starving.  2. How could I not?  I totally had two orders of beignets and I don’t care if you judge me for it.  My love of fried dough and powdered sugar is just too much to handle sometimes.

Next, I had to walk off my guilt.

Jackson Square

Jackson Square

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Seriously, Jackson Square is just the prettiest.  I love the idea of eloping in New Orleans with the St Louis Cathedral in the background. I looked at all the art, talked myself out of getting my palm and tarot cards read*, and continued to work on finding the perfect surprises for my brothers belated birthday boxes.

After 3 hours of popping into shops, drinking a few frozen daiquiris to beat the heat and soaking in the humid air, I decided it was finally time to head back to my hotel and start packing up to head home.  And just in time too.  As soon as I got to my room’s door, there was another downpour.

*I’ve always wanted to get my palm and tarot cards read, but I might have been giving my cash to homeless people with pets.